Jazz Mechanica, ever vigilant for musician's gigs, found this audition call posted by "Wow" on the talkbass forum (He didn't post a picture, but we found one of him.):
Hi. Im 20 years old, I play guitar, bass, keys and drums and do lead vocals but cant do all that at the same time so Im looking to start a band. Thers no other music like what I write out there, so Im not going to bother listing influences when Im only influenced by myself. Im going to be doing the lead vocals, and the guitar too so I just need bass and drums at first. I might decide we need keys later on, but for now all I want is the rythem section. All the music is original, and I already wrote most of the parts but not all of them yet, so be patient until I get it all together and show you what to play. Since this is gonna be my band, I need to make it clear upfront that Im the boss...Ill take your suggestions into consideration, but dont cry like a baby if I dont decide to do what you want. Ive been in bands before that couldnt handle my profesionalism, and didnt want to work hard toward the same goals, so I think one person needs to be in charge, and that person is me. No drinking, no drugs, no cigarettes and no women at practice. I dont want anything distracting me from the creative process and dope smoke and women do that pretty well so NO WAY! My band is going to be a well oiled machine with pro ers and be dedicated, without all the insults and disrespect to the band leader like the last time. If you want to be the drummer, you have to be GOOD , have PRO double bass gear the more drumes the better, and provide our practice space ( and it has to be nice,, not some dump in your moms basement).If your the bass player, you have to be GOOD, have PRO gear and provide a PA cause I dont have one yet. If the drummer has one, all the better your off the hook. We can work out rides to practice if everyone dioesnt have a car, or I could supply gas money sometimes, but not fill the tank. Ive paid way more in gas than I ever had to , and only bitched about it a few times, so I wont just give money away. Im holding auditions starting tomorrow after 5, unless youre a drummer then we can do it at your place so you dont have to take down your drum set. I might need a ride to wherever yo ulive, but thats just the cost of auditioning. I dont know yet id I want a second guitar player, cause sometimes theyre distracting to what Im playing, and if Im the frontman/lead guitar, Id like it if everyone sort of knew their place and supported me while I bring down the house! Thnaks for reading, and reply back if youre interested in being in the best band around, with the most talented people in Omaha right now!
remember:
No drugs
no alcohol
no old people
no women ( at practice, you may have a gf tho)
NO bad attitudes or egos that are easily damaged. I can be firm, but Im usually right about whatever it is, and you'll come to see that soon enough. Trust me, Im gonna lead this band into huge, but we all have to be on the team, and realize that IM the quarterback
Thanks
Wow, just Wow.
[Note for Ralph in Memphis: The gig is still open. Practice man, practice!]
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